A Lie Is Like

Ok so I just wanted to tell a funny story that happened yesterday when I was in Vegas with my parents.

We were going to a clinic on Tuesday morning, so after checking out of the Mandalay Bay Hotel :), we had breakfast at a McDonalds. It was only 7am or so, and the only other people in there besides the 3 of us were 2 old men. One was considerably older.

I went to the bathroom after ordering and when I came out and began to sit with my parents, I hear the considerably older man say "....and she has on a negligee and is all horny. and this guy is like 'oh no i'm (bad word!)"

And I am just like oh my gosh.
AWKWARD.
slash weird.

But it gets better. The older old guy then starts lecturing the other guy. My parents and I are basically forced to listen. And we're trying not to laugh. My dad whispers, "I guess there's some drama going on this morning..."
From what I could gather, the younger old guy wants to buy a boat, and his wife is against it. His buying the boat could end the marriage. So he's thinking of just buying it and hiding it so she won't know. (Genius plan, by the way. If it's a bathtub boat.)

But the older guy, in his scratchy, old man voice, starts telling him why it's bad to lie.
However, he does so to the tune of ridiculous comparisons and every cliche in the book.

Example: He says, "A lie is like a (insert stupid inanimate object here) (insert far-fetched connection here.)"

Some of my favorites were: "A lie is like a stop sign. You can look at it and stop, or you can choose to ignore it and go out into the intersection and get t-boned!"

"A lie is like a bear trap. You can play on it, but eventually it's gonna slam shut on your leg."

and the ever-relevant: "a lie is like a boat with no water under it." I can't remember how he explained it but it was absurd.

His cliches were equally entertaining:
"Once you tell one lie you have to tell another."
"When you tell the truth, you don't have to remember what you said."
"The truth will find you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will find you!"
"When you tell a lie, you dig yourself a little deeper."

Unfortunately, we had to leave before his lecture was over and we didn't find out if this other guy had changed his mind.

But when we got in the car, my parents and I were just rolling our eyes and laughing at that guy.

My dad started mocking him and in an old man's voice was saying, "You gotta rob Peter to pay Paul. A lie is like a cell phone. If you flip it open, you gotta answer it....unless you hang up. But lying is like hanging up because you can't face the truth."

It was funny.


Oh and we had a lovely 1 1/2 days in Las Vegas. It was not crowded at all---yay bad economy :)
We got to shop and look at the cool hotels. The 3 of us never really hang out. When I was a kid I always wanted to be an only child. :) I mean now, of course I couldn't live without the other kids but it was cool to pretend for a while.