Perhaps?

Life's frustrating because we don't know the thoughts of other people.

We don't know their intentions.

So we draw conclusions from assumptions that may or may not have steady foundations.

We can assume that smiles and waves and the casual "hey" each time we see each other means that there's a friendship there, and perhaps an ignited spark.

I still believe that we're supposed to know each other better.

I have to believe it.

We got off on the right foot, and now I feel like we've left off on the wrong foot. I feel like I want to constantly say "what now?"

Our conversation was a cliff hanger at the end of lengthy novel. And I know you hate sequels. But cut me some slack here.

Maybe if we're not supposed to know each other better, it's for the best.

Maybe if I knew more about you, I'd be disappointed.

But I doubt it.

Maybe if you knew me more, you'd be disappointed.

But I doubt it.

Today I told Vanessa this:

Whomever I decide to date/become engaged to/marry, has to be okay with the fact that I have a lot of people in my life.

I have a big family, a big circle of friends, and I will always be in contact with these people. I will never apologize for these people in my life, nor will I make outrageous accommodations to make him feel more comfortable around them. I want him to be in his element among my family from the get go.

I told her that the defining moment for me will be this:

It's a holiday. Or a family get together of some kind.

We're both there. You've just met the family. Everyone is getting to know you. Everyone is doting upon you. Everyone is asking me questions, giggling with me.

You're talking to my brothers, putting up with my uncle's jokes and threatening lecture. The kids are climbing all over you.

And you are loving every second of it.

We're on opposite sides of the room, well aware that we will probably not sit or stand by each other for most of the night.

But we catch each other's eye in the midst of the chaos, and we smile. We have an entire conversation with our eyes that says that we are right where we need to be.

And anyone who walked into the house later on and saw us would know right away that we were together, even though we were on different sides of the room.

That will be the defining moment.

Naive or not, I'm waiting for him. For the guy who can put up with that.

If he can't, he's simply not the one.

I'm disappointed because you're the kind of person who would feel awkward and uncomfortable in that situation.

And I really wanted it to be you.

Not Even The Rain Has Such Small Hands

Today was a rainy day in Costa Mesa. It actually looked like a hurricane outside. The wind blew the pouring rain horizontally and the palm trees whipped forcefully, looking like they'd bend until they'd break.

Sitting and watching from the window, a few of us girls decided that we could either stay inside all day, watching semi-good movies and "doing homework," or we could seize the opportunity to have fun outside.

So we went outside to play. :)

We climbed trees, spun around in the grass, jumped in puddles, even hopped the fence into the baseball field and played in the mud. (Thankfully we didn't get caught and fined by campus security.)

Before....

After!

As we frolicked through God's nature, I couldn't help but be reminded that THIS is how life is supposed to be. You and I were created to worship in nature, to laugh, to enjoy one another, to explore and play and be alive.

How often do we get wrapped up in the tasks of life and forget to love life? How often do we waste a rainy day inside?

I'm just reminded today how blessed I am to be living on this great planet we call earth, and I'm reminded how God knew exactly what he was doing when he created everything, and he knows exactly what he's doing now :)